After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
