im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I am available for nakedness
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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