I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
