She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
