she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
