i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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