i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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