if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
PANTIES FOUND
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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