ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize