apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
When are your genitals available?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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