Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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