no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
