After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Randomize
