Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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