And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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