My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
