Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
