I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
