It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
