She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
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I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
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Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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