I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize