Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
