I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
