So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
