My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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