his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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