Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
