I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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