The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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