Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize