Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
