how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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