Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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