I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Drake has all the answers
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
