Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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