p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
