dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
