i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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