So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
