When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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