Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
