That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
