So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
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