I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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