Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize