Your tits are I can't wait for
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
