I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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