me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You need a sexual gate keeper
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
