I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
