Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
