Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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