I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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