dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
