i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I need help removing her.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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