Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(225): View more from Louisiana

finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day

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(304): View more from West Virginia

His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.

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(614): View more from Ohio

My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex

(1-614): View more from Ohio

You and your mom would make an amazing tag team

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(314): View more from Missouri

I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.

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(519): View more from Ontario

yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"

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