so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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