I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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