you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
