We're like a lot better than the average bears
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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