it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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