I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
