should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My breasts were aching with rage.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
