I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize