11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
