dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
