please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
