She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
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Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
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Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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