saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
