she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
