elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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