Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
