Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
