dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
high people should be assigned attendants
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
