Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
